2007 Recap

I do not understand the problem with me nowadays, as you would’ve noticed the lack of blogs I have done recently, which is like, none. I’ve had this writer’s block for quite some time, and I just happen to write stuff that I thought would work, but in the end to give up halfway through. I would’ve posted it on regardless, but that’s just pointless, right?

It’s been another year, and I guess it’s time to recap my year, I mean I’ve never summed up my year before, but I think I should, for the sake of blogging, and for the sake of reminding

myself of a year which I will never forget.

January:

Idle, and did nothing apparently for the whole month. It was a relief actually to get out of the shit that I was in the year before, and for once, I felt relief all over me as everything seemed much more clearer in life, I had no distractions, no worries, and somehow, a budding fondness to someone then. Life was to about to get back into place, as I searched all around for jobs, and eventually it ended up in the one that I wouldn’t want to be in…lucky Frank came up with a good solution to my worries, and I never thought I would end up with doing this…teaching…Other than that, it was DotA with Frank and the others all month long… still searching for the job I wanted…that time it was Starbucks and Coffee Bean off the list… It was in a chat with Frank that told me that he wanted to find a job as a temporary teacher in my primary schools, so therefore I presumed that we are going to work together, I joined him. In fact we got the job almost immediately, and he had to quit because PPD (Pejabat Pendidikan Daerah) called him and posted him to a school near his house…as u can see the PPD offer was a government service contract, and the school’s was just a temporary hire. I did apply for it, and I got the job a week later after that, and was posted to Anderson High School, which was a stone’s throw away from my house…anyhow, it was pretty creepy as I’ve never set foot in it, and the first day was very scary…but thank god of the experience I had before then in my primary school…ah yes, I remember a kid who pooped in his class as he was too shy to ask to go to the bathroom…now I understand the meaning of going to toilet means going out to play…teaching kids was hard…but teaching adolescents is even harder… as I found out…but nothing makes me more annoyed when the kids look snobbish and act like they know it all…in fact I was annoyed one day and I started teaching Form 6 stuff to him just to put him in place…it wasn’t to be as I has just a week there…had I more time I would’ve wished I could changed that kid’s life…now he’s going to grow up like the very snob crap shit that would ruin the world one day…

February:

A short month, but the lack of days didn’t mean it was less interesting. First it was about my best friend’s birthday, where we went out and gave him a treat, full day sponsor of gaming and lunch… he was quite happy, and even people who rarely joined us came as well…it was still, the very same day of my enrolment to Adelaide University…but my parents insisted that they see my results before I go…so I missed this opportunity to go somewhere that offered me what I wanted to study, plus give it to me based on my forecast results…isn’t that great or what?? But anyhow, it was something I’m about to regret of later on. CNY was in the same month, and it was the usual, going to temples, shopping, feasting, and well, the 1st time I get to watch my favourite nephew, Yu Zhe…I miss him so much… he looked like a Buddha when I first saw him…all fat and chubby…and he has this great smile that brightens me up even when at that time I was still upset about the events of the previous year… it made me want my own kids…u know, but I don’t think it will be anytime soon…It was also the month I asked someone out for a movie…apparently she was late that day , and we missed first 10 minutes of the movie, and well, it was an awkward day as she came with matching colours with my shirt, and we met a lot of friends that day, it did made them assume we were dating…lol…it was a great day…minus the jokes on us… and lastly, it was also the month where I had to do the speech in school...talking in front of a crowd after quite some time…it was quite scary…but I managed to pull it off in the end…and wished them a good holiday…I even distributed Mandarin Oranges to those greedy things…lol

March:

The work started to go into place, as I could now prepare for lessons and did research on my work beforehand and taught more interesting stuff to my students…I had English and History, which is my forte, and I could give them more information about things they never knew, like Napoleon Bonaparte, SHTI, and all sorts of stuff I found out myself, and in English I did these humorous plays that make the students crack up in class…I started to like my job…and every day I made myself think of something new and fresh approach to give them more excitement in learning, I also put some students in place for being lazy…eventually most of them turned for the better…I made them work hard and liked what they gave back in response…I even gave them some insight on reproductive system, and pointed out that it is not a taboo issue, if you looked at it at a more positive way. I didn’t know how much I made an impact to them, but they started to like me, and well, it was much better than before…

April:

It was also the month where I participated in the school’s Sports Day, where I heard of Houses with ridiculous names…like Birch and School and omg I forgot mine…it was worse…oh yeah it was Whitfield..and we had pink for our house colours!! It was so gay!! I saw one of my idols that day, Lat…but I didn’t get anything from him because he was a VIP…oh well, at least I can say I’ve met him…the trials beforehand was even worse, as I had to wake up early to see them run…and it intimidated me when I saw those kids who were state reps run…eat your heart out G…they run far better than you…lol…barefooted. It was also the month where I had to rush my classes to prepare them for the exams…because of my enthusiasm I made them fall back quite a lot…but I managed to take a peek in the exam papers and helped them by giving them tips and hints…hoped they used it up…if not god knows what would help them…it was a different perspective to look at, when you’re making the questions…u wanna help them get marks, but u wanna make them earn it as well… My tenure at Anderson ended soon after that…and students were reluctant to let me go…I was quite sad at the last day as I’ve done my best there and everyone was pleased with me, it also showed me how people from different walks of life could work together and form a harmonious environment, never in one second I felt any racial discrimination from them…except for the students who joke around calling each other names…but it was ok…

May:

Immediately the day after my ‘retirement’ I received a call from PPD again and I got another posting (man, am I so hot!!)and guess what, I got posted to my alma mater, SMJK Sam Tet, replacing none other than Mr. Liew, the horny teacher who always interrupted my Chemistry Class lessons when I was back then in Form 6…and surprise surprise…the PK was so surprised to see me…and my teachers were all so excited to see me back in school (Hehe told u I’m the teacher’s pet)…even my juniors laughed at me as they saw me, as they couldn’t decide on what to treat me as…but I gave them the liberty to chat with me anytime they could, but the time there was much more unpleasant as the very thing that I loathe came periodically to show his balls around…and the students were more difficult to control, teenagers with their bursting hormones, and their kiasuness which is the trademark of all SamTet students… this time, I get to do something more interesting…Chemistry… and the lab was basically mine…so u can expect me doing stuff like playing with chemicals and I get to use a mike :p so that means I was cracking up a lot of things with them in the lab, and plus I had a lazy schedule as I get to use media to educate them…saves a lot of my work…but it was quite irritating as students try to pull of the same tricks I’ve used before…I wasn’t going to fall for that…but it seemed that I was earning my reputation there…And yeah it was results time…

June:

I was totally crushed when I got my results…it was horrible…a B for General Paper, B- for Chemistry, and C+s for Physics and Maths. I didn’t felt like going to take it early…as I felt I could avoid the crowd, and her. But my friend called and told me the dickhead scored in his and I knew my day was doomed. My dad was quite upset with my results, and my mom was practically saying, “you know what you could’ve done if you weren’t distracted…” written all over her face...I didn’t look bad on my face, but I was thinking of killing myself when I got the results, I cried. A lot of people never realize how much results mean to people, especially people like me. To me, results are my life. I’ve always been the brains in the family…scoring results my parents, especially my dad, who never looked upon me and felt proud of me beforehand would ever think of… by scoring this I’ve just made him confirm my uselessness and I felt ashamed and useless at the same time. It was like cutting off a runner’s legs when all he got is his legs which he uses to run…what can he do had he no legs? What can I do without my results? It wasn’t a bad month for me as well, as I heard of the split on that day…and she didn’t do as well as expected as well…I wished I could’ve been there then…but seeing what my results were, I felt ashamed to look for her, and hated her for what she did to me…It was a bad time to do anything, even though she did try to contact me at that time…I was so…crushed. It felt even worse when I went back to work and my teachers started asking about my results…I felt so ashamed in telling them and looking at their faces of disbelief…I wish I could kill myself and I just had to control myself from crying on the spot…even at that time I felt the lack of passion to teach… as I felt I have no quality to guide my students, and since I know very well about them, and they will never listen to me if they know how much I sucked in my exams…I just plodded on, and I was, just hanging on…It was also the month where the Raja Muda of Perak came and conferred the awards of excellence to my friends…I was allowed to attend the function that day…duh, as I was amongst the teaching staff…it felt like a mockery from the gods that I would’ve attended it if I scored in my exams…and I was there looking at my friends going up to receive honours…I wish it was me up there.. . but it never materialised…and I suddenly had no sense of direction…and a bleak future.

(cont)...

Inspiration From Kenny...Part 2

OK…I have the nerve to finish both of them at one day…so might as well get on with it…

OK…let’s see…men fall in love with their eyes…hmm…you know what, I’m going to admit and say that men do fall in love with their eyes…

I might as well admit that I liked girls usually by looking at them, as the 1st impression is always important to me…if you cannot zap me in the 1st encounter…boy u need to try very hard for me to notice you after that…

Alright, before u start your chant of chauvinistic pig, I might as well defend my case.
Ok…fine, this time, instead of using the old school talk and talk and talk…I will use another approach…I will in fact, set an example by telling the world what kind of females attract me, even when they are not trying to…

Indeed, I am using a lot of guts just to write this, anyhow, whatever…this would give girls a good idea of what they should not be if they ever think of attracting me…I know I know, I can hear the sounds of vomit sloshing out of your throats…but hear me out ok? A girl has her fantasies, so give a guy a break and let him have his?

Here are, the ten girls that apparently I could think of immediately , that would appeal to me.
So here goes:

10.Kirsten Dunst.

After watching Spidey, I felt like being Venom. But I wouldn’t have hung here from a taxi like 60feet above the ground… instead I would slap Spidey to his senses and tell him what a girl he is losing for his idiocy. Then again, not! I would keep Mary-Jane and let him rot…lol…she’s pretty good at what she does, there was this movie called Bring It On which she was the Vice-Captain of the Cheerleading Squad that were supposed to be National Champions…that was where I noticed her. She always had this sweet, knowing smile and that girlish squirms that seemed adorable an any instant. The reason that I put her on the tenth is basically, she smokes. And I hate smokers…might as well tell me that you smoke rather than tell me that stupid excuse again…It turns me off far better than anything else…

9. Jessica Alba.

Ooo…most of you would know her as Sue Storm in the Fantastic Four… I knew her as the Dark Angel, who had a microchip at the back of her neck...and she could kickass with her superhumans strength...hmm... I didn’t think of her as pretty until recently, where she turned out to be like this, super-hot actress, and btw, she looked really great as Sue Storm in the movies, with her really generous smiles and that girl-next-door feel. She recently turned out to be one of the most desirable bikini models, ranking with ppl like Pamela Anderson. She’s not heavy with those bombs, but she has this well-tanned, healthy and sunny appearance that really appeals to most men. Again, you don’t need to be fair to be pretty.

8. Hayden Panettiere.

1st impression, a beautiful name. And yet, another cheerleader. And this one can jump of a seven-storey building and survive without a single scratch. Anyway, u won’t have to worry if this one threatens to kill herself because, you know…she can’t get hurt. But that doesn’t mean u can go on and cheat on her, she’s the perfect suicide bomber u know. I dunno why I have these weird coincidences with cheerleaders. There was one that everybody knows I like that was an ex-cheerleader, and these two, and there’s one more who actually asked me out once, and god knows why she did it. Anyway, I was away, and I’m really flattered with her invitation. She deserves better. Anyway, Claire(as she is well-known as) has this really great appearance that doesn’t make you feel awkward in front of her. She’s just this genuine, girl-next-door feel and friendly student that doesn’t rely on popular students to win the Homecoming Queen. She has in fact, a geeky friend that she shared her secret with and he proved loyal until he was dealt with by the Haitian. Another note, people just need to be themselves and that is really attractive. No point rubbing up with those so-called popular nitwits that do all sorts of stupid stuff in order to fit in, or be noticed.

7.Rainie Yang.

Finally, an Asian. I know plenty of you would wonder if I’d ever pick an Asian with seemingly never-ending rantings on Caucasians. This one, as we all know her well as the Princess of Cuteness. In fact, she is indeed, cute. Now, cute is one thing, but being talented is another. Her music was dissed by my sifu, David Tao as being amateurish. But she did well for her 1st album, and by the second album, her last song, Que Yang, was one of the most beautiful songs I’ve ever heard. The method of singing felt absolutely fitting and it sounded faint, weak, whilst giving out a lamentation to a past relationship. It is not an easy song to sing, mind you. I wish you could try and do it the way she did, and you’ll understand. And her recent movie, she played a lesbian that seeked love towards another female counterpart. She did it rather bravely, being unorthodox and willing to sacrifice her image for the movie. She even wanted to shed her cute image in order to pursue even complex characters. A very, very hardworking girl. But unfortunately, her verbal instincts weren’t as keen as her cuteness, and she offended plenty of people by saying things she shouldn’t have. It’s not totally her fault, but being an entertainer, it’s good to do research and avoid touchy issues.

Rainie the Lesbian in Water-Lilies...

6. Anne Hathaway.

Oh dear. The Devil Wears Prada. She did magnificently. Once she was amongst the highest echelons of appealing females in my list, being the type of mature women that I would find appealing, but anyhow, she was giving me this very stereotype image that I got bored with. Oh yes, she was stunning in The Princess Diaries. And I believed that she was a Princess. I wish a prince would marry her and make her one instead. Lol. She became even more impressive in the 2nd sequel where she looked even more beautiful... she sang also a duet with one of my idols, Julie Andrews. She could sing, she could dance. She looks great. ‘Nough said.

5.Ariel Lin.

For those who don’t know her. She’s a rising star in the Taiwanese entertainment industry. Best known for her role in It Started With A Kiss. It was one of the shows that I manage to be patient with and finished it with satisfaction. Ok, notice that I put ppl like Jessica Alba, Kirsten Rainie and Anne behind her, even if she lacks in looks compared to the other 5. I wish I could put her even higher on the list. I’ve noticed her since she just appeared on the industry, and I’ve been keeping tabs with her works. She did loads of dramas with various famous actors, like The Seventh Grade(gods, she played the Captain for the Cheerleading Squad!), Love Contract, The Secret Garden, etc, etc. She even got nominated for Best Actress in The Golden Horse Awards. From what I know, she comes from a single parent family, and being the eldest, she was the breadwinner of the family, and she worked hard so that she could support her family and help them get a better life. It touched me that she was this strong, steady lady who wouldn’t care the BS of how her life would be without a man. This is one that I really admire for her resilience.

It Started with a Kiss(drama)...Everybody wants to be that guy!

4. Emma Watson.

Aha, that is something I’d expect from ppl who hear of this name. Yes, she’s Hermione Granger in Harry Potter, and the sole reason I would still to watch Harry Potter movies. I know this sounds shallow. It’s just luck that Rowling picked a small rosebud in her cast that turned out to be a real stunner. She did well as Hermione Granger. Unlike the norms of the men, who obey the 3Ds rule: Achievements: D, Intelligence: D, Cup Size: D. I actually prefer women who present more intelligence and are successful in their own field. Maybe it is the fact that my mom was rather intelligent and capable, (though I’m not so sure now), but being stupid isn’t something I look forward to have in a spouse. But I know everyone would agree on that she looks pretty, and I’m sure she’ll be even more so in the future. Hopefully J

Now, the Top Three…

Getting restless? Here we go.

3. Joanna “Jojo” Levesque.

Hmm, I dunno what to say about her. Except that I noticed this Lindsay Lohan lookalike in RV. But it turned out it wasn’t La Lohan, but an up and coming singer called Jojo. And my gods, she is another stunner, and she’s like what? 16? And do you think a 16 year old would look like this? I know I sound like a paedophile here, but no, I have no inclination towards children, in fact, I find it horrendous to even expose children to such matters before they are mature. Anyway, go on, make assumptions. I don’t care. I am not a freak. Jojo, is in fact a great singer. She has already two albums to her name, and her latest, The High Road, included songs like Too Little, Too Late, and How to Touch A Girl. The latter sounds cheesy, but wait till you hear the vocal chords this girl has. She has a very powerful voice that would hit the heavy ballads like what Whitney and Mariah did. It’s only a matter of time until she turns into a more, professional singer with more originality. I only wish her well in whatever she does, though I pray not the Lindsay Lohan Route.

2. Jolin Tsai.

Sigh. I’ve been pondering long and hard enough whether to put her in 1st or 2nd. Everyone knows her. The Dancing Diva. She started out as this thin, ordinary looking girl that I couldn’t care less of. With a SClub 7 song that I wasn’t too happy with. Naturally I wasn’t keen on her music. It was when she came back from a serious tussle with her company that she began to show real potential. Her 1st album after that sold brilliantly, with the help of her ex-rumoured bf, Jay Chou. And she conveyed this really fashionable, up-to-date, trendiness that attracted thousands to flock under her banner once more. Mind you, she even went up a tempo when she tore away from the dependence on Jay, and broke away from her record company, and joined one that was previously unknown. The Dancing Diva, her past album, was a great hit. And she even spent millions learning acrobatics and gymnastics to add more stuff onto her alreadyy impressive resume. I went to her concert last year and she did this up in the air, gymnastics with only her legs as support, like 50feet up in the air, no harness. Personally, I find her eagerness and willingness to achieve perfection endearing. Her concert was amazing, and worth every penny of it. I did mention several times to people how impressed I was with her diligence and her attitude, though not everyone agreed with me. Many said that I was only interested because she suddenly had this, overnight-grown assets, which I beg to differ. I wouldn’t have mattered if she had nothing at all. She was this amazing chameleon that could turn from sexy to cute in a jiffy. She could dance to a high tempo and then suddenly go into a ballad with no worries at all. I’m really impressed with her.

And yes, the moment you’ve all been waiting for, who is this person that has the dare to sit on the top?

1. Alexis Bledel.

Yes, and yes, Rory Gilmore. Where there is nothing more appealing than this sweet, nice and clever girl living with her whacky mother at Stars Hollow. I admit I do watch Gilmore Girls whenever I can, in fact, I love it. I love watching how cute she is, and how she goes with her everyday life. She’s the smart, talkative, but shy girl who wants everybody to like her. And in fact, I don’t believe anyone in it who doesn’t like her, maybe except Paris, who is a downright rich snob. But anyhow, I just like the way she looks, and how comfortable she looks. No thick makeup, no fake sorority, no cheerleading. Just Rory, the book-loving genius, like me J. Rory Gilmore’s qualities are something I really would like to have for my spouse. .To me, she is indeed, perfect.

We want Rory!!

Now, after presenting this list, I hope I shed light on what men like me want. We don’t want bimbos or women who just know how to look good, and have absolutely nothing underneath their thick makeup. We also want people who would also make us comfortable. Among these women, there are some of those who I might not feel comfortable with. And those don’t normally go far up the list. Some of them may look good, but are absolutely rubbish underneath. I don’t ask for something much, but I do wish I could have something as pleasant as that. It’s no crime to dream. And dreams drive passion. Passion drives success.

PS: This is subject to pleasant reading. Do not, in fact, create a hullabaloo on this matter…this is something done, on a spontaneous basis, and will not be responsible for any losses or harm caused.

Inspiration From Kenny...

Just had a quick read through my usual sites before I start kicking off to my studies that something totally got me hooked…and somehow I am willing to suffer the wrath of the lecturer tomorrow and write this, for no matter what it takes…I simply must write this…

Talk about timing…I have been struggling with myself trying to blog a teeny weeny post but to no avail.

And this one pops out…and I just couldn’t help but nod my head vigorously like a guy after ecstasy… not that I have had any experience before, mind you…

I went through Kenny Sia’s blog and he had this very very fresh post…those who dunno him, he’s like a household name to bloggers… I mean by in terms of household otaku’s or ppl who just like a piece of fun on the net…anyway, here’s his blog…www.kennysia.com….and go get a good read through before u read whatever I am going to say afterwards…u can do the other way around…like I care…

Kenny wrote…Is it true that girls fall in love with their hearts and guy fall in love with their eyes?

To me, totally…though I must give allocation and set the limits as any good function would…like, Men must be Real… and Men who are in the range of between adolescents and single men in their late 40s… winkwink*…trying to do my revision as well as writing this…lol…

I don’t know whether it’s legal to continue on with someone’s work on the net…but im not really trying to set anything here…it’s just that this occurs to me as something that I felt strongly inclined to write about…so Kenny, if u r not happy with this…or ur some die-hard fan of his and threatens to kill me if I post this on…tell me politely please? I’m happy to comply…anyway…it makes more sense this way…don’t wear a mask and read the warning on youtube ok?

OK…straight to business…

Ask any girl…ok I mean normal, lovesick girls who are waiting for their knight in shining armour… and they’ll tell u that they’d like something in those fairytale stories that their parents read to them when they go to sleep…I used to get read into bed…the same stories…only I don’t remember them… I wonder if my parents read to me WoT or LOTR for my bedtime stories…I wonder what would happen to me? Lol.

Ok girls would just simply tell u things like, nice, loving, caring, mindful, (caring and mindful sounds like AMC’s motto…anyway this one girl’s real suggestions on the guy of her dreams), no need to be handsome, just that he must love me and pamper me and make me live happily ever after!

Next thing you know, the knight in shining armour would be a guy with Mohawks as his helmet plumes, piercings so much that it would make the metal detector in airports ring like hell as his armour…and rides a Ducati 999 as his steed….and he would give you all sorts of signs that you’d swear that it was not nice as he snickers off with the girl that you’ve been waiting for say, ten years?

Btw, they only just met…and you’ve been trying so hard to change from that oily slimy greasy kid, to a well-groomed, well-mannered, loving, caring, gentlemen. And that is all because you thought, you’d fit the bill of that knight in shining armour…
Sounds terrible doesn’t it?

Next thing you’d ask is, what did I do wrong? Didn’t I fit your criteria?

And when you try to profess your undying love to her and say everything that need to be said…and she turn you down with this well-rehearsed verse that I think is written in the manuals of How to Reject A Guy…if there is ever such a kind of book, which I believe might exist…since I came across a book called Why Men Marry Bitches…I read through it…and couldn’t agree more…lol

Ok…she’ll say…You’re a nice guy, so-and-so…but you’re just not my type. I’m sure you’ll find someone suitable for you…thank you for telling me this…we just don’t click…
Sounds familiar? I bet any man that has been shown the door would agree with this mantra…

I think it’s bollocks…

I have a friend here that posts on her blog about the kind of men women want…and it sounds a lot like the Knight in Shining Armour Theory, and personally, I do not believe that any women would follow that guideline of having nice guys as their partners…I mean not willingly, and I’m sure u’ll hear cases where women end up with those guys is mainly when they are recently dumped by their REAL Knight In Shining Piercings…and here are those lapdogs that would happily, no…hyenas that would happily lap up all the leftovers that they’ve left behind…talking about picking up an old sock…that is the real truth underneath,

That nice guys end last.

The thing is, why the hell would girls keep saying that they want nice-guys when they would simply pick up Arth compared to Kenny who like cuddly toys(aww)?
If you like guys with beastly spikes, and rebellious behavior, just say so…nobody’s gonna laugh at you for that…in fact, thank you for telling me that, but I would no way, go pierce myself to look like a tragedy at the earring store just to impress girls…

I believe that there is no crime in speaking out whatever type you actually like instead of having that oh-so-fake goody-two-shoes idea of having sweet nice guys…..it’s pathetic.

This in fact creates a nation of sweet, nice, caring gentlemen who couldn’t get a date at all…while the minority of rebels get to feast like kings on a feastday…I mean on the women, who think with their hearts?

What Kenny said is right…Women think with hearts, but apparently, hearts have no eyes….
I can immediately give several examples about real girls who apparently functions in such manner, and the manner of their ending…I can safely say that the f(x) or output was that neither ended up happily ever after…

About egotistical men, I dunno about this…though being egotistical and sarcastic=attractive…I happen not to find any suitable partners at all…does that mean it has a discriminant? If so…hmm…but House doesn’t occur to me as the handsome type…I might rule out looks…any other ideas? Please lobby it on the comments part…thanks.

Look, I don’t mean to belittle women or be chauvinistic… it’s just very offending and annoying. As I find out with many other men, that women use the same excuse, over and over again. And yet you ask where have all the good men gone?

Well, they’re here, and they’ve all turned out to be the ones that you’ve pushed aside…
So please girls, if you wish to have a wider range of selection of men like what you have for items at Tesco’s, I suggest that you put serious consideration into the type of men you REALLY like…and stop giving us the you’re a nice-guy excuse…if we’re nice, why wouldn’t you pick us?
Coming up next…guys who think with their eyes…lol

In dedication....

Just last Thursday, I received a dreadful news...

Another person has left me...

I didn't know what to do then, neither could i understand the mixture of feelings just because of it happening, at such a short time, and yet not unexpected.

I'd like to dedicate this to my dear friend, and ex-neighbour, Mrs Lee.

Ever since i was a kid, able to walk and move around that small area between my house and my nanny's, which was just a backstreet apart, i would always do so. My parents were not people who would respond to my every whim and fancy, so they hired a nanny to take care of me instead... and from what i heard, i was extremely difficult to attend to, being the noisiest kid in the maternity ward, and crying for every single thing i do at that moment....nobody wouldn't know of my existence... i was particularly 'vocal' with it..lol...

Mrs Lee was the person living opposite my nanny, we were living of the same road of my actual home, but strangely i got to know her just because she was a good friend of my nanny. They would spend the afternoon talking across the street, and well do what a good housewife does, cook, clean, and gossip. It was always at these times where i got the time alone to do all sorts of crazy and stupid things, and end up regretting by getting hurt, like got bitten by a stray dog that i thought was my pet, to getting my leg stuck in the drain because my slipper fell into it, and i tried to reach it with my feet, and now i shrudder thinking that how stupid i was not to realise how deep the drain was...u can go to Taman Pertama to see that drain on Jalan Pertama...it's not the shallow things u see in the new neighbourhoods...it's the real deal.

Now, my childhood memories weren't just her talking to my nanny, she would appear in me and my sister's birthdays to join in the celebration... it was never a big affair, just a bunch of people gorging on fast food and fried stuff, cutting the cake and talk. I remember so clearly of her being that cheery, positive and friendly person that goes along with the crowd...and my parents knew her and her husband quite well, as i found out much later on. She was, a part of my childhood, and played a major part in its metamorphisis...

Mrs Lee was a teacher teaching in TCS...which was just a short drive from our neighbourhood. It was a school famous for their choir team, as i found out two years ago. I never knew what she taught in school, i think it was maths, or science, but i can feel that english might've been likelier... i may never know...

She never taught me academically, but had a major impact on my being. It was a stagnant time in my life, and i had nothing going well, being average in class, complained by teachers, being very difficult to handle. My sister and i had just given up several things, like computer lessons and playing the piano, the latter in my opinion being the worst decision in my life, so far. We had nothing to do, and had only the telly and the Playstation to immerse ourselves in it. It was a wasted childhood. What she did was reccommend a book, a book that made me rekindle my long lost relationship with literature.

My mother claimed she read to us during bedtime in our younger years, and it was that that made us very well-read. I never felt a stronger connection until my sister agreed to get the book and start reading it. When she got to the 3rd book, i started doing the same.

That book, was Harry Potter And the Prisoner Of Azkaban.

I still maintain until now that, that was my favourite book amongst the whole series. J.K Rowling wrote brilliantly for the 1st four books, and then when everything went skyrocketing, as well was her swelling ego, the book fell flat. I hated the 5th book. And i really am appalled by the last one. I was one of those who read before the whole Pottermania, and did not pin Daniel Radcliffe as a poster boy on my wall, though i would happily put Emma Watson on mine...lol

I went from book to book, including reading books like Roald Dahl that was given to me for my birthday, long forgotten. I just couldn't stop reading from then on. It wasn't a breeze as everyone think it is, i had rough patches and times where i would rather throw away and go watch the telly, it takes time, and the willingness to follow the storyline and the guidance of the writer. Bad writers write bluntly and gives you nothing to imagine in you own mind. The good ones usually write discreetly, and leaves a large room for our imagination. I went from small short stories of the Bookworm series, to tackle the LOTR, which was almost a thousand pages to read.

My sister's reading habits declined as time went. She would rather stick to magazines from England like Smash and TOTP(Top of The Pops), while i was guided my Mrs Lee, to tackle different books instead.

She gave me a book, called Legend Of Huma, which was one of the Dragonlance Series written by Richard A. Knaak, and i was hooked on it. It told of a young knight in a fictional land that had very heavy burden's to carry, come to think of it, was a grand display of medieval chivalry. He was of the lowest Knight Of The Crown, and yet at his young age, did more and thought wiser compared to older Knights of more higher orders, at the Oath and Measure's darkest hour. He did sacrifice himself in the end, and he did it well enough. It was the Knight's quote that srtuck me. Est Sularis Oth Mithas, my honour is my life. It became a good measure to follow, in my younger days at school, and i would believe that is where they started comparing me and the greater divine, much to my despair...

There were plenty of books to quote, like Brian Jacques, with the rather adoreable Red Wall rats, to Robert Jordan's Wheel Of Time...I hadn't the time to write one to Mr. Jordan as well, who left just recently as well. Many of the readers, like me and yann shern, was frustrated by the overstreched series, preferring some series, like the Eight and Tenth book, to be described more simply, than being overelaborated. Maybe he had too many major characters, or thinks those parts were important in telling the story...we may never know the ending, as the last book was never published. It is a great pity. And a dismay to people like me, who understand and take Rand, Mat and Perrin as people close to our hearts. Duty heavier than mountains, Death lighter than a feather. We could end it all in a stroke, but what we leave behind, matters more than ourselves...

I've learned more from these books than from people like teachers, parents, and friends would ever teach me. And i owe it to one person who helped me see the bright side in lifting a book to be called nerdy, and the gift of knowledge that it comes within. In fact, my short-sightedness was due to reading under poor lighting, explaining the intensity of LOTR when i read it...it was a tough book to read, but anyhow worthwhile when everything comes to my senses, it was never easy to understand, until you read the whole thing, i mean, everything. Ask anyone who reads it, and you'll knonw that unless you read everything, you wouldn't understand anything in LOTR...

I've gotten too far from Mrs Lee, but i couldn't refrain my enthusiasm of reading, and describe anything my mind comes across. People often wonder and ask why i do well in certain subjects, and become somehow envious of it. It comes with hard work, and the willingness to put away pride and accept being taught. I recall a friend who scorned my Living Skills teacher who tried to teach us sewing, saying it was girls stuff, and girls are supposed to know this exclusively. I would've been that person, but i understand and accept that any knowledge given would somehow aid me in the future, and it doesn't matter what is it, even from the most mundane task. Now, i fold clothes better, faster than my mother ever did, because i was willing to learn how to do it, on work. Being good, comes with a price. You won't get it unless you earn it. Willingly.

I owe a lot to Mrs Lee, she never taught me that much stuff, but her books did. She saved me a lot when she borrowed books to me, and the most recent one was the Knife Of Dreams by RJ, and it was of the 1st edition, costing more than two of the normal ones. I still keep three of the books she borrowed me, as Mr. Lee lets me keep it, as a gift. It is a mighty gift. I don't know how much i could thank them for what they gave me.

This too, also incurs a worrying situation, where i worry something wrong would happen to my loved ones when i'm not around. She succumbed to the cancer so suddenly and, painfully that i heard she couldn't eat of drink well in her dying days. Worse was when she wouldn't want us to visit her, and secluded herself from public. I wish i was there to see her, alive and well. Now, all i saw was a body in a casket, segregated my a thin wall of glass, sleeping serenely, not able to listen to how thankful i am to her.

What worries me now is of those who are living. How many more would leave me when im not around? Who are they, and would i meet them before the end, and let them know how much i care for them? My friends, in particular, are those i dread to watch, as it signals my decline to old age, anything sooner comes as an even bigger impact on me. No one deserves to leave before their life is fulfilled. No one. I even worry about her, as i rather not see her name appear on the deceased list of people, hurt beyond belief moments before death, no matter how much pain she has done to me. I rather see her alive, happy and well. I ask nothing more than that.

I'm afraid of death. And i fear more of those who leave before me. Nothing can stop it. But we can do our best and live life to its fullest beforehand, and not regret in the end.

I pray what i do now woulnd't make me pay in the future. And i pray for every aquaintance's safety and well-being. I now cherish more of people than i ever did before. I hope to see everyone again.

Rest In Peace, Mrs. Lee.

Pigs Aren't Stupid...

Who says pigs are stupid?

Well, somehow the Hongkees have a saying, stupid like a pig(chun dou chek chu gam yeong)... i think that is where we are accustomed to relate stupidity with pigs...

It pains me to see how such a useful animal is being degraded...and did not receive the recognition it supposedly should have...

If u ever watched the much debated MTV of namewee, u should read the comments below... especially from other races...giving opinions is something...but using insults to scold someone is another...and somehow, this has erupted into another racial issue, and if u read further on, pigs are in the thick of action...

Just how stupid are pigs? I don't have any statistical data here, but i do not believe that they are any more foolish nor smarter than any other animal in the animal kingdom...they are animals, correct, and with the amount of these animals in the world, i think their survival rate is an excellent gauge to determine whether they are stupid enough to become extinct...if they are, i think we should see fewer numbers in this world...

I wish i had a book to understand why is it important to insult this animal? A religon that denies or despises a creation of God, has to have a good reason why they should hate it... A cow isn't consumed by Hindus because the Cow is believed to be holy, fair enough...but is it so, to pigs? No, pigs are always depicted to be dirty, stupid and a pollution to the enviroment. How about the story about the 3 little pigs and the bing bad wolf...of the three, one was smart enough to build a concrete house...in fact, three are smart enough to even build houses...but we cannot gauge simply on childhood stories, but what we can be sure is that pigs sweat a lot, and the mud they put all over their bodies is simply to cool off, as like many animals, like elephants, turtles, seals, walruses, and so on do it as well, only that they somehow still look acceptible, or blended with the soil so well that it doesn't make any difference, that we accept them and so no more of its dirtiness? If u ever had a pet, any pet would smell even after a few hours after its bath...there is no reason we should label pigs dirty, all animals, and people who don't bath, and with lewd thinking, are dirty as well...

All life forms cause waste...including plants, where the fruit u eat is sometimes waste of plants where nutrients that were not needed were accumulated in bright, nice-smelling fruits so that they attract animals or other life forms to remove their waste. Like they say, one man's meat is another man's poison...the poison or waste of plants, may be the much needed nutrients of another persons'...cows, goats, pandas, insects, even humans, cause waste...it is not just pigs that do so...so why victimise it? One should not speak just because they like it, but to somehow see that the words they depict makes sense or not...

Eating pork doesn't mean u will be as stupid as they say, eating tiger penis doesn't mean u can be strong, all night long... drinking bear bile doesn't mean u can be as powerful as them...but somehow, the psychology of aquiring the physical forms or the rumoured strengths of these animals encouraged people to consume them, and when people relate this further on, eating animals became a synonym with it, where animal characters are believe to directly absorbed when u consume them... Hmm..if that is so, wouldn't cannibals become the most intelligent humans on earth...because they eat the most intelligent being on Earth, humans?

I am personally dissapointed with people who are selfish, wealth-seeking, and inconsiderate. It is not only the yellow-skinned that are always wealth-seeking... caucasians, african americans, indians, everyone wealth-seeks...do not tell me that u do not want money...no one would reject having more in their pockets to spend, they only complain having less... we are depicted so simply because we are seen working day and night, non-stop, and always talk about the value of meney we have spent... we do care about what we are spending, because we know, we do not have any safety nets, if we go over the ridge...we earn so much, because we know, we have a lot of things that we want to have...to earn and aquire things with our own money is being independent, to aquire things and yet having to rely on others is being lazy...spending because we can, not just because we want to, is something that is the pride of that shouldn't been taken away, but to be understood and emulated, in order to improve oneself. To whine and grumble, or be green-eyed and jealous is being naive... pride is one of the seven sins, and i believe, though i am do not wear the cross, that because of pride, we have som much problems and become unwilling to change, because they would look stupid to change...the greatest nations in the world changed when in need, the Roman Empire changed their military tactics when they were not working, and formed a new tactic of having one single standard soldier called a legionary, rather than having different groups of hastati, triarii, and velites supporting the equites or horsemen, they conquered and beaten every single army after that, regardless of what they faced...the Japanese changed their policy of military might, after the World War, to focuse on industry, much to the disdain of everyone, and now, they monopolize markets all over the world with their goods...during these processes of transition, there is bound to be jeers, taunts, and hackles from the outside, and yet, pride of these people would've caused imminent halt to the changes in hand, but enduring the shame and change made them even greater...no one should be tied down by pride, but know that success is out there waiting to be taken... and pride should be thrown down in order to achieve success...Genghis Khan would've given up conquering China if he did not change his glory seeking hit-and run tactics...and embrace the much despised siege warfare and psychology tactics...by changing...he had crossed walls where calvary had failed to do so...and earned riches for beyond his dreams...

I do not subjugate any particular group of people, but to people who choose to be ignorant, and unable to swallow their pride because in fear of losing face...there is no shame in losing face, there is shame in having the knowledge to change but yet deny it because of face... There is a long way to go, and we have not yet earned that much face to be unable to put down...just put it down, and do whatever it takes to gain even more by changing...

There is no use in labelling people pigs...just because they eat pigs...the point is that they eat pork, and yet they could perform well, even with such insulting remarks on them...i do not recommend that we all do so, but to let us see that it doesn't matter at all, whatever you eat, but who you are, and what you can do and how you think that affects it...pigs are not stupid... ignorant men are...so don't eat them instead.....

44th or 50th??

Alright, today's the 50th Independence Day of my country. Ironically, i'm stuck at home while my siblings get to makeover, whilst i water the gardens of my house compound...3 times a day in fact...and i have to calculate the timing of each interval precisely from the second i wake up untill the last watering of the day...only then i realised how the heck did i manage it...and i wonder how much i am worth to my family compared to grass...mind you the grass is quite expensive u know...and i let my dear Jesse do her sculptings on it...a very very snobbish brat behaviour, but, its a better option than letting it poo on my couch...whatever...

Alright, i tried to make myself hyped for the whole Independence thingy...we're 50 years old...we must be proud of what we've accomplished...and we're moving on towards being an advanced country...blablabla...and suddenly i felt that i was yawning... brainwashing didn't help me at all...i just felt sick telling myself such BS...

We're not 50 years old yet...

Hello? Check the date, its 31st of August 2007, from what i know, Malaysia was formed on 16th September 1963, which clearly means, its not 50years old yet...What we are celebrating was the Independence of Malaya...not Malaysia...and i doubt the 2 states out there barely felt the hype..they're not concerned right? Well they have to, you gotta follow the majority...somthing sounds so familiar...i dunno how, but it seems like yesterday when i heard ppl telling me the same thing...yawn..watever...

Okay, then i cannot understand the need to celebrate this so early... hmm...in my point of view, its because it's Visit Malaysia Year...and having something like this means that the revenue increases tenfold...from what i heard, the hotels in KL are fully booked...i can hear the jingling sounds of coins...ah...revenue...its a very honest probability, don't u think?

The other one, well, let's not try to say too much about it... some guy did something similiar and he did it in a much classier way compared to mine, which i expect ppl unaccustomed to my relentless droning would collapse just about...now...

Wakey, wakey...let's continue...

Men try so hard to leave something behind...and to do so...we commemorate every single occasion when the need arises, to remind people, how far we've come, how much we've done, and keep voting for us...all those urging to register voters, and the magnificent hype they've tried to generate, i can really see elections coming real soon...and why not? With people still basking in such glory, they'll bound to be swayed by that...who wouldn't? Pompey did this before when the gangs struck Rome and almost burned it to the ground, coaxing the Senate to grant Dictatorship for him or Rome burns; Or, when Bush was famously accused of orchastrating the 9/11 attacks...which doesn't make much sense...but indeed intriguing to think about it for a second...nope..that is so mean to all the victims...i will not think about it...the point is, with big issues around, people are bound to be swayed by such matters...regardless by fear or by awe...

Okay...hold your horses..i can feel the accusations of traitors and opposition coming my way..the exactly same thing that happened in our Parliment this week, (interested read The Star please)..where anyone not shouting Merdeka as the backbenchers did was labelled traitor... Indeed, if that is the way we gauge patriots and traitors, then i think we'll need a large cesspit for the people we are about to hang for betraying the country...the questions is, Patriotism...why should we stereotype it? is it justified?

Its not just me who asked this, but hanging flags, singing anthems, buying national products, is it the only way to show patriotism? If that is so, then the flag vendors and prduce sellers will be whooping around...now there's a sure market for our goods...but honestly, is that an accurate way of deciding who's patriotic, who's not? A man can be selling AKs to our enemies, and drive the stuff on a national car...a man who's serving, and taking care by feeding the poor might just ride a Honda motorcyle...now who's patriotic? Can they be rated just because of the car they own? Can't we have our own way of showing our patriotism, or at least, be appreciated, especially those who worked silently in the back, and yet they do more good for the nation compared to those who boss people around, and accuse people as traitors just because they are influential, or have the means to campaign?

Campaigning for elections is a big issue, u have to deposit a large sum just to register, gain enough votes, and u'll get your money back, even if you lose, if you don't, then all that money is going down into the drain...now can we understand why its always the same people who register as a candidate? Even in ancient Rome, wealthy houses campaign by having names praised on the streets by hired people, and given bread, coins, and having tournaments just to create fame and sway people's minds so that they can, become Consul,(read the Republic of Rome. or S.P.Q.R. for further information) Can a poor person do so? Can a normal person do so? Is democracy really democracy? Or is it just an exclusive pool for the fish with enough matter? Then again, they can hit back at us and say this is Malaysia, not Rome...to me,we are not far apart, with the patricians ruling over the plebians alike...we have the rich flaunting the poor as well...

What we are allowed is to choose who to vote, and if the majority decides against you , you can only live by it...fair enough. But what troubles me is what if neither of them are qualified? Who do we choose then? We have counselmen raising palaces and operating businesses as they wish...and as Malaysians, we know very well taking up government-elected posts, one cannot own businesses or operate any...i wonder if they even know this? But who cares? Any accusation of graft, would be nullified with a little shove under the table...a man who obviously has too much income gets away with a minor offense, and he gets to be overseas as the judgement was read...there's a saying in Latin, "Quis custodes ipsos custodiries?" (correct me if i'm wrong) means "Who will guard the Guards? " Who can we trust, when the very top of the cake is all but rotting flesh? even if the base is still unscathed, have you the appetite to search further downwards? And yet, we must keep silent, as not to raise any offense to others, to such matters, should we keep silent? This concerns every single citizen, and the only offense i've made to is those who actually have blood on their hands, in this case, money on their hands...and i don't feel sorry to them...50 years, is that all we've progressed?

Okay look on the bright side,there's people who deserve to be labelled patriotic Malaysians, those who succeed in their own field and made names for themselves, they can feel proud, and we can be proud of them. We shouldn't race for every recognition there is like a child who seeks approval, or like Dumbeldore when he was young...but to receive honour bestowed upon deservedly, as we have really worked hard and proven ourselves...then that honour will be undiminished forever...

Two, those who really understand what Malaysia is all about, 50 years is no big deal, our neighbouring country is only 42 years, and they're a First World country, with toilets you'd safely put your arse upon without fear; whereas we are older, yet still a developing nation, and we cringe in fear whenever we have to go to a public toilet, by force...it's not that we must bow our heads down in shame only, but to understand what they have done to succeed, and work towards it...quality, not quantity matters...understand why students, like alot of my friends, have ventured there, because they know they have equal status there, they are measured in terms of success, not by race or religon...if our country were so, would they not stay?

I must mention the two kids, being asked about race, and they know better than we do. We pride ourselves in being tolerant...yet, when was the last time u scolded another person with racist remarks, in private? especially when we drive, i can understand the frustration on the road, but aevery now and then, we do it, even if we don't others do it still...and we just don't pay attention to such matters...The two kids, bless them. Not knowing isn't the key, but knowing that it doesn't influence anything does matter.When the joker on youtube sang the song, he was speaking out from his side; whereas there's a rising politician spoke from his side, they both received recognition from their sides, but the irony is the treatment, one is on the verge of losing even his nationality, the other is given endorsement to rise even further up the political ladder...it's a sad thing when these issues are brushed under the carpet, when it should be faced from day one. But we are so afraid... of what? I will not say it isn't fair, but treatment on similiar matters should be equal...or else, the balance will not be sustained...but who cares, we are all so selfish.

If they wanna sue me for this, they can, but i do not believe i have spoken a single word of racism, or drving the nation to chaos.

I spoke my mind, as a Malaysian, a patriotic one.

If this is banned, then there really is not democracy in this world.

PS: Do not make this a political issue. I am a free citizen.

Happy 44th birthday Malaysia!

Foreword

I must admit that i'm jumping the bandwagon...Influenced by people before me, i had to see what's the hullabaloo about this page...so here i am...

The thing is, compared to my Sigma-X blog...this one wouldn't notify my friends about another posting...so i'll be assuming this will be much less visited compared to my friendster blog...anyhow...goodie, that means i get to run amok with this...

Can't this of any space name, i had to put this in...maybe it'll stick to me, maybe i'll skip once i get a name that fits...i dunno, maybe you guys can gimme a suggestion...and please, be reasonable, not something like confessions from a God...or within God, i'll kill the person who suggests this...those interested can read my bleatings on Sigma-X about it...

Hope to make this space a success, and hopefully, you'll enjoy this...

Comments abundant please, i hate to self debate, it never gets you anywhere...

Peace out.