Is there such a thing as a sensible woman?

Argh…screw it. Can’t sleep, might as well write something to ease myself. I have a lot of things on my mind now…and all I can do is just convey it in a matter of words and let u visualize my point of view.

Today I received an email notifying a blog update from one of my friends. Unlike most people, I treat every blog with interest and I wouldn’t mind reading out people’s thoughts, I believe in understanding and sharing thoughts rather than keep a sickening happy-go-lucky attitude and tell everyone everything’s fine. Perhaps there is good in being that, but I cannot make myself do so.

Before I read his blog, I noticed several tones in his Messenger account. He wrote stuff like “looks like it wasn’t meant to be…” that made me think about a lot of stuff. I even recall the look on his girlfriend’s face when we met him on the street. She looked restless. I knew something was wrong. But with the row we had two weeks before, I rather abstain myself from being a nosy parker.

After reading what he had to say, I took a deep breath and just sighed out loud.

My suspicions were confirmed. He did break up with her.

From what I read, it sounded painful enough. While telling my other friend about what I read, I made myself nudge him and ask him what was going on. He sounded alright at first, and then he burst and started to sound emotional with all sorts of rants. Apparently he was being cheated all the while when he was away studying. He only found out when he did something I believe any couple will cry out loud and say it is indecent. But reading her text messages made him found out about it. I couldn’t say I agreed with the method, and I can only see that it was for the greater good. I rather not elaborate on how they settled it. But looking at the eyes of someone u love and not see the flame in response, and that reminds me perfectly of what I had two years ago.

Those stunning eyes.

Nothing.

Not even a sparkle. Someone might as well stabbed me or shot my head at that moment. I can never forget those eyes. Those are her best features, and her most cruel ones.

No matter how hard you try, as long as the flame’s gone, there’s nothing you can do to reignite it.

An unanswered love is like banging yourself to a wall.

You’ll get hurt. Yet the walls feel nothing.

I couldn’t do much in comforting him. I never knew what to say, and I know saying anything wouldn’t help at all. In fact, I didn’t try to even comfort him. Nobody comforted me two years ago. I simply made myself drown in misery for every single day of that year, every single day was a torture session, and I had once said, I felt like Jesus being tied on the stake, and lashed with whips while carrying a crucifix towards the execution grounds.

Every single day.

Nobody knew.

What good would it be even if everybody knew?

Misery wouldn’t have gone through the walls.

I began to understand how cruel the world was.

I began to embrace the fact that all of us are selfish.

I felt weak, unable to even handle my own fate.

I felt helpless.

I felt the pangs of mortality.

For once, I was not afraid of dying.

In fact, it felt good to just end my life there, at that moment, just to ease the pain.

How pathetic is that?

She would be proud, to see how much power she holds over my life.

Yet, still she chooses to hang her own life on the line.

As much as I like to repeat, why the hell women are stupid and blind?

There are those who just plainly pick men just because they hit the right notes, being sweet and suave by sweeping you off your feet, and yet they are reputed as a playboy. Why wouldn’t you think twice before even going near a bastard like that?

There are those who just swoon over looks of a playboy. For instance, Edison Chen. Serves him right for being exposed. I saw right through him even as he started his career in the entertainment industry. He was a brat with free-balling with all those stupid women. Oh wait, is there such a thing as a sensible woman? Might as well put that in the same category with “cats growing horns,” or “cows could fly.” Yet even my sister admitted him being handsome. OMFG…I wish I could strangle my sis through the messenger. Too bad u can only nudge them…u can practically see my crumpled face when I heard those words.

There are those who just act saintly and giggle or scream when they are exposed to so-called “indecent” stuff. Heck, even my sister’s friends think kissing is sex. I don’t know what is wrong with women nowadays. Is it because of the liberty they enjoy nowadays, and yet we fail to check the boundless fantasies that they were brought up with? Or is it just the fault of commercialisation where people just cash in on women’s fantasies?

If you want to diss me off in this post, prove to me that u are a sensible, down-to-earth female before even start to even think of debating this with me. That includes no PMS situations where you just launch your whole hormone level at me. If you want to earn my respect, prove it. If not, I will not take away the view of women being hopelessly naïve and useless. "So what?" answers would not make this look any better.

PS: I still maintain my stand that I support gender equality. This post was not done based on chauvinism. I'm trying to prove my point. I would be happy for brainless women if all i wanted was chauvinism. I cannot stand the sight of women being cheated anymore.