I do not understand the problem with me nowadays, as you would’ve noticed the lack of blogs I have done recently, which is like, none. I’ve had this writer’s block for quite some time, and I just happen to write stuff that I thought would work, but in the end to give up halfway through. I would’ve posted it on regardless, but that’s just pointless, right?
It’s been another year, and I guess it’s time to recap my year, I mean I’ve never summed up my year before, but I think I should, for the sake of blogging, and for the sake of reminding
myself of a year which I will never forget.
January:
Idle, and did nothing apparently for the whole month. It was a relief actually to get out of the shit that I was in the year before, and for once, I felt relief all over me as everything seemed much more clearer in life, I had no distractions, no worries, and somehow, a budding fondness to someone then. Life was to about to get back into place, as I searched all around for jobs, and eventually it ended up in the one that I wouldn’t want to be in…lucky Frank came up with a good solution to my worries, and I never thought I would end up with doing this…teaching…Other than that, it was DotA with Frank and the others all month long… still searching for the job I wanted…that time it was Starbucks and Coffee Bean off the list… It was in a chat with Frank that told me that he wanted to find a job as a temporary teacher in my primary schools, so therefore I presumed that we are going to work together, I joined him. In fact we got the job almost immediately, and he had to quit because PPD (Pejabat Pendidikan Daerah) called him and posted him to a school near his house…as u can see the PPD offer was a government service contract, and the school’s was just a temporary hire. I did apply for it, and I got the job a week later after that, and was posted to Anderson High School, which was a stone’s throw away from my house…anyhow, it was pretty creepy as I’ve never set foot in it, and the first day was very scary…but thank god of the experience I had before then in my primary school…ah yes, I remember a kid who pooped in his class as he was too shy to ask to go to the bathroom…now I understand the meaning of going to toilet means going out to play…teaching kids was hard…but teaching adolescents is even harder… as I found out…but nothing makes me more annoyed when the kids look snobbish and act like they know it all…in fact I was annoyed one day and I started teaching Form 6 stuff to him just to put him in place…it wasn’t to be as I has just a week there…had I more time I would’ve wished I could changed that kid’s life…now he’s going to grow up like the very snob crap shit that would ruin the world one day…
February:
A short month, but the lack of days didn’t mean it was less interesting. First it was about my best friend’s birthday, where we went out and gave him a treat, full day sponsor of gaming and lunch… he was quite happy, and even people who rarely joined us came as well…it was still, the very same day of my enrolment to Adelaide University…but my parents insisted that they see my results before I go…so I missed this opportunity to go somewhere that offered me what I wanted to study, plus give it to me based on my forecast results…isn’t that great or what?? But anyhow, it was something I’m about to regret of later on. CNY was in the same month, and it was the usual, going to temples, shopping, feasting, and well, the 1st time I get to watch my favourite nephew, Yu Zhe…I miss him so much… he looked like a Buddha when I first saw him…all fat and chubby…and he has this great smile that brightens me up even when at that time I was still upset about the events of the previous year… it made me want my own kids…u know, but I don’t think it will be anytime soon…It was also the month I asked someone out for a movie…apparently she was late that day , and we missed first 10 minutes of the movie, and well, it was an awkward day as she came with matching colours with my shirt, and we met a lot of friends that day, it did made them assume we were dating…lol…it was a great day…minus the jokes on us… and lastly, it was also the month where I had to do the speech in school...talking in front of a crowd after quite some time…it was quite scary…but I managed to pull it off in the end…and wished them a good holiday…I even distributed Mandarin Oranges to those greedy things…lol
March:
The work started to go into place, as I could now prepare for lessons and did research on my work beforehand and taught more interesting stuff to my students…I had English and History, which is my forte, and I could give them more information about things they never knew, like Napoleon Bonaparte, SHTI, and all sorts of stuff I found out myself, and in English I did these humorous plays that make the students crack up in class…I started to like my job…and every day I made myself think of something new and fresh approach to give them more excitement in learning, I also put some students in place for being lazy…eventually most of them turned for the better…I made them work hard and liked what they gave back in response…I even gave them some insight on reproductive system, and pointed out that it is not a taboo issue, if you looked at it at a more positive way. I didn’t know how much I made an impact to them, but they started to like me, and well, it was much better than before…
April:
It was also the month where I participated in the school’s Sports Day, where I heard of Houses with ridiculous names…like Birch and School and omg I forgot mine…it was worse…oh yeah it was Whitfield..and we had pink for our house colours!! It was so gay!! I saw one of my idols that day, Lat…but I didn’t get anything from him because he was a VIP…oh well, at least I can say I’ve met him…the trials beforehand was even worse, as I had to wake up early to see them run…and it intimidated me when I saw those kids who were state reps run…eat your heart out G…they run far better than you…lol…barefooted. It was also the month where I had to rush my classes to prepare them for the exams…because of my enthusiasm I made them fall back quite a lot…but I managed to take a peek in the exam papers and helped them by giving them tips and hints…hoped they used it up…if not god knows what would help them…it was a different perspective to look at, when you’re making the questions…u wanna help them get marks, but u wanna make them earn it as well… My tenure at Anderson ended soon after that…and students were reluctant to let me go…I was quite sad at the last day as I’ve done my best there and everyone was pleased with me, it also showed me how people from different walks of life could work together and form a harmonious environment, never in one second I felt any racial discrimination from them…except for the students who joke around calling each other names…but it was ok…
May:
May:
Immediately the day after my ‘retirement’ I received a call from PPD again and I got another posting (man, am I so hot!!)and guess what, I got posted to my alma mater, SMJK Sam Tet, replacing none other than Mr. Liew, the horny teacher who always interrupted my Chemistry Class lessons when I was back then in Form 6…and surprise surprise…the PK was so surprised to see me…and my teachers were all so excited to see me back in school (Hehe told u I’m the teacher’s pet)…even my juniors laughed at me as they saw me, as they couldn’t decide on what to treat me as…but I gave them the liberty to chat with me anytime they could, but the time there was much more unpleasant as the very thing that I loathe came periodically to show his balls around…and the students were more difficult to control, teenagers with their bursting hormones, and their kiasuness which is the trademark of all SamTet students… this time, I get to do something more interesting…Chemistry… and the lab was basically mine…so u can expect me doing stuff like playing with chemicals and I get to use a mike :p so that means I was cracking up a lot of things with them in the lab, and plus I had a lazy schedule as I get to use media to educate them…saves a lot of my work…but it was quite irritating as students try to pull of the same tricks I’ve used before…I wasn’t going to fall for that…but it seemed that I was earning my reputation there…And yeah it was results time…
June:
I was totally crushed when I got my results…it was horrible…a B for General Paper, B- for Chemistry, and C+s for Physics and Maths. I didn’t felt like going to take it early…as I felt I could avoid the crowd, and her. But my friend called and told me the dickhead scored in his and I knew my day was doomed. My dad was quite upset with my results, and my mom was practically saying, “you know what you could’ve done if you weren’t distracted…” written all over her face...I didn’t look bad on my face, but I was thinking of killing myself when I got the results, I cried. A lot of people never realize how much results mean to people, especially people like me. To me, results are my life. I’ve always been the brains in the family…scoring results my parents, especially my dad, who never looked upon me and felt proud of me beforehand would ever think of… by scoring this I’ve just made him confirm my uselessness and I felt ashamed and useless at the same time. It was like cutting off a runner’s legs when all he got is his legs which he uses to run…what can he do had he no legs? What can I do without my results? It wasn’t a bad month for me as well, as I heard of the split on that day…and she didn’t do as well as expected as well…I wished I could’ve been there then…but seeing what my results were, I felt ashamed to look for her, and hated her for what she did to me…It was a bad time to do anything, even though she did try to contact me at that time…I was so…crushed. It felt even worse when I went back to work and my teachers started asking about my results…I felt so ashamed in telling them and looking at their faces of disbelief…I wish I could kill myself and I just had to control myself from crying on the spot…even at that time I felt the lack of passion to teach… as I felt I have no quality to guide my students, and since I know very well about them, and they will never listen to me if they know how much I sucked in my exams…I just plodded on, and I was, just hanging on…It was also the month where the Raja Muda of Perak came and conferred the awards of excellence to my friends…I was allowed to attend the function that day…duh, as I was amongst the teaching staff…it felt like a mockery from the gods that I would’ve attended it if I scored in my exams…and I was there looking at my friends going up to receive honours…I wish it was me up there.. . but it never materialised…and I suddenly had no sense of direction…and a bleak future.
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